


Like James Bond

by alittlefellowinawideworld



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 08:15:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10737735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlefellowinawideworld/pseuds/alittlefellowinawideworld
Summary: During the showdown at the Spring mansion, people were a bit too preoccupied to analyze the appearance of their frizzy haired, murderous cavalry and her hacker companion. Still fewer stopped to appreciate her snazzy bow tie and jaunty hat.





	Like James Bond

**Author's Note:**

> I can't claim this work, it was a birthday present to me from my lovely twin! She has humored my deranged fandom ranting and turned one of my ideas into this lovely fic. Since she doesn't have an account, I've gotten her permission to share it all with you. 
> 
> It's her first story, so kudos or comments will be passed on and loved!!!

Ken hadn’t believed it would be so difficult to find clothes in a hotel. But his vague thoughts of thousands of suitcases and garment bags, which surely littered the building, were quickly dispelled by the endless identical hallways full of locked doors. That and his fourth trip down the same elevator. Honestly.

So when he managed to find his way to the basement and an unattended bellhop uniform, he anxiously eyed his surroundings and then seized the uniform as the prize to his quest. He had a vulnerable assassin to get back to. One who very well may be drinking shampoo in a bathrobe. 

She wasn’t, of course. Which was good, because Ken had technically been held hostage for the past few days and was in desperate need of both that shampoo and the shower. 

Thirty long and luxurious minutes later, he stepped out of the bathroom to see how Bart was doing. The sight that greeted him shouldn’t have been surprising, not after the insanity which Bart had brought into his life. But for some reason he still hadn’t expected her to be wearing the hat…

The bellhop hat, that is. He supposed it must have been in the pile with the rest of the uniform. But he hadn’t done much more than toss that on the bed before he had surrendered to the siren song of the shower. 

Standing there though, finally clean of the dirt and blood of their previous adventures, he couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of the ruthless assassin in her tiny felt hat with a strap around the chin. 

Bart had been standing there, expectantly, as he entered the room. But her proud smile and eager expression faltered at his laugh. 

“What?” she said defensively, her hands unconsciously smoothing down the sides of the overlarge coat; drawing his attention to the fact that she had also tied the matching bow tie like a bracelet around her wrist. “I put on the clothes…”

He tried to soften his smile but her earnestness only made the whole situation more funny, tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You didn’t have to wear all of it.” His eyes flicked upwards, “ I mean, I’m sorry I couldn’t have gotten you nicer clothes…”

Bart crossed her arms, still defensive but with a bit more stubbornness which made Ken hope that she was getting back to normal (Or, at least, ready to get back out there. Normal not being an option…) “But I like these. I’ve never had a whole outfit before with the matching and…” She paused there. And Ken was reminded that, though she was a terrifying force of nature, this was also the same person who never had anyone to explain to her how the radio worked and who had never stayed at a hotel. The person who had also chased him down with a machete in bloodstained clothes like some deranged horror monster…. 

And who was now staring at him like he had kicked her dog. 

His smile slipped into a considering line and he nodded seriously but appreciatively. “It is a cool uniform.” He couldn’t explain why it felt so right, to see the smile light up her face again. 

“I know!” She preened. “It’s got gold everywhere. And I can see my face in the buttons.” Stepping right up to him, she grabbed one half of the open coat and pulled it towards his face. He leaned back and smiled again. 

“Yep, very shiny.” And his eyes caught something in his limited field of vision. “But you know what makes the outfit cool?” He slowly grabbed one of the hands in his face, whose wrist held the bowtie bracelet, and began untying it. 

“Yeah, that part’s extra, I thought.”

“Not quite,” He began to reach around her neck and past her mat of newly-fruit scented hair with the tie. But now it was her turn to lean away, and she grabbed his wrist like she was going to break it. 

“What are you doing?”

“Hey, hey, hey. Trust me.” 

He looked at her, open and patient, for a moment until she gave a small nod and let go. She still looked confused but he continued talking gently as he started to tie the tie. 

“This is a bow tie. All the cool people wear them. Like James Bond. And you’re...kind of like that; going around and... doing what you do. Only with less stealthiness and more...forks... or things” 

He stepped back and admired both his handiwork and the state of his life that he didn’t even find that statement a strange thing to say, “But yeah, cool.”

She didn’t seem to find the look as appealing and dug her finger under the tie as if to loosen it, making a face. 

“Why would you wear something like this around your neck? I could kill somebody with this.” She informed him matter of factly. 

“Yeees,” he drew out the word and grabbed her shoulders. Holding her at arms length, he addressed her encouragingly, “But you could kill someone with anything, couldn’t you?”

And then she smiled, bashful but proud, “Yeah.” 

“Ok then.” And Ken didn’t think anymore about how strange his life had become or why he was still here, trying to make his former kidnapper smile. They had two more bullets in the gun and he wanted to see which way the Universe pointed them. 

“Let’s go.”


End file.
